This semester has been a whirlwind for me. So many ups and downs, twists and turns that I feel like I don't have any control of what's going on. But I'm starting to realize that maybe that's the beauty of it. I like to have control in my life, and at times I desperately cling on to the very things that I should be letting go of. As I'm writing this the song "Worth it all" by Rita Springer keeps running through my head. The beginning says: "I don't understand Your ways oh but I will give You my song, give You all of my praise. You hold on to all of my pain, with it You are pulling me closer, and pulling me into Your ways."
The song goes on to talk about searching for God above all else, and knowing that through every trial we go through, it's gonna be worth it. One of the campus pastors at Liberty always says, "We do not deserve anything but eternity in hell. Everything else is a blessing." It really stuck out to me the first time I heard it, and it continues to challenge me each time it passes through my mind. It's so easy to hear that quote and say, "Yeah, that's good, that's good." But do we honestly believe it? Do I honestly believe it? The quote holds so much magnitude...everything is a blessing. Not select things, but every. single. thing. Do I truly live my life in a way that exemplifies this? So many things have happened within the past year that make me stop and think about what I take for granted. Awful, horrific things have happened to my family members as well as others that I love dearly. It's like the old saying, "Someone always has it worse than you." I'm not saying this to be morbid, but it is a reality check for me sometimes. I have to remind myself so many times with various situations to be eternally minded. In the light of eternity, will this really matter? 2 Corinthians 4:18 says, "as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." We are but a glimpse. Our lives on earth are but a flicker of what eternity holds for us. So why do we sweat the small stuff? Why do we freak out over the tiniest things that won't matter a year or so from now? Our human nature is to want to have control. But Jesus calls us to do the complete opposite. Matthew 10:38-39 says, "And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." The verses are clear in my Bible, bright red words standing out on a white page. It's okay to not have control of situations. It's okay to not know what's going on or to have a complete handle on everything. Maybe....maybe that's exactly where God wants us. The point where we realize that we are totally and utterly lost without Him. We are depraved people. I think one of the most beautiful phrases to God is when we are at a place in our lives when we can honestly say, "God, I don't have control of this situation. I don't have control of anything. But You do. I can put my full trust in You. You know what's best. So go ahead God, do Your will in my life." When I feel as though I don't know what's going on in a situation or how to "fix" it, I just need to remember that my plan cannot even compare to the beauty of God's perfect plan. I need to be okay with letting go.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10- But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Let go, and let God.
Amazing.
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